It's Okay...Don't talk to me for a year.

So....this is what I really don't get... How on earth can you be talking to someone and then they just act like it's okay to completely quit talking to you?

We'll call him James.

My first clue with James should have been that he was a baseball player. I think those always equal trouble, but he was so charming how could I resist.

He knew that I wanted to learn to a do a rubik cube so he told me he bought me one...needless to say I've never seen the thing. It should have been my first clue.

James and I spent the summer together hanging out when we could between our busy schedules. He was sweet, quiet...which was kind of annoying, but nice. I started becoming really bothered that we wouldn't go and do date type things. He always just wanted to sit around and watch movies. Not my cup of tea....I get too bored.

Talk started of him having to move a couple of hours away to take a coaching job. Which I was beyond thrilled for him. That's what he wanted to do! Then he started being weird and not calling. Well he LEFT, like MOVED away and didn't even tell me! I thought he was leaving 2 days later than he actually did. I was pretty ticked but I was thinking whatever...your loss!

Then, about a month later he calls me and apologizes for the way he acted and talked about how he freaked out and didn't know how to handle the long distance, etc.

Side Note: This should have been another clue as to how this whole ordeal was going to play out with him.

So we start talking again and he comes to the city to visit me a few different times and I decided to go up and see him. So I get up there and he doesn't want to do anything. He wants to sit around and order in dinner and watch baseball. Heck No! I drove all the way here to do something fun. Needless to say the night ended with him saying it wasn't going to work and me returning home to the city.

I then find out he's talking to a childhood friend of mine. WHAT AN IDIOT. Obviously he doesn't know that I'm Laura Poff and no EVERYONE! :) When I was questioned about the way he acted I sure did throw him under the bus. So the smart girls gets rid of him but he starts talking to me again.

Now, I know you're thinking Laura, Seriously...he's been SUCH a jerk to you, why do you keep talking to him? And honestly....I have NO clue. I think it's because he was charming and to an extent fun to be around and makeout with on occasion. But this time I TOTALLY had my guard up. And I told him I didn't trust him but he assured me this time was going to be different an it was. He called every night, he came down to see me, and it was fun...for awhile.

But then he end of January rolled around and he had come down to visit but I had to work. So, I spent a few hours with him before I had to go in and we texted all night and I told him to come by my apartment before he headed back. I went to sleep and woke up in the middle of the afternoon to no text, no call, no nothing. I thought it was weird so I tried calling him. No answer. I knew he had a meeting so I just figured it was still in it. Well later that night I tried calling again, No answer. Texting...no answer. I kinda became a little nervous because I was like CRAP! What if he's sitting on the side of the road somewhere? I have my roommates text...no answer! Finally we're able to talk to his best friend who's like yeah...I talked to him earlier today! WHAT THE HECK!!! How immature are you to not answer your phone when I call!!

I was done. And that was it. I was actually steaming because 1. what a jerk and 2. how could I have been so stupid to fall for his silly games.

Months went by and I never heard from him. I saw on facebook that he had a girlfriend and was happy for him. It wasn't until a month ago....almost a year and a half LATER that I got a facebook message from him apologizing for the way he treated me. Really dude? It took you a year to man up to that?

Oh well...James is just another stop in my crazy journey for Mr. Right! :)

Plenty of Fish, Really?

This is another one of my favorites....actually it's hard to have a favorite when they're all so good! haha

So I sell Private Quarters...not like all the time but just whenever someone wants to buy something! It's fun beautiful bedding and I love curling up in! Here is my website if you want to look!

Anyways so I was at this craft show type thing trying to sell this bedding and this super nice lady was next to me so we just chatted back and forth with one another all day and I thought she was great! Towards the end of our time together she was like I know this could sound kinda random but how would you feel about dating at 30 year old. Now, I'm 24...that's only 6 years...not a huge difference. So I tell her I'm open for whatever. So she tells me about her son named Chris and he seems really sweet and has a great career, etc. And she was like I'm not going to force you to do anything but if you want to talk to him like on facebook you can.

So, I facebook him and we start messaging back and forth and he's really nice and he wanted to meet up for Starbucks and I was okay with doing that. Well before I even meet him he writes really stupid stuff like "Hugs through the computer Screen" And stuff like that and I'm thinking...okay, are we in Middle School?!? So I semi-blow him off one night but it wasn't fully intentional I just didn't know when we were meeting because it was like 11 and I was still in a movie! But then he starts being really pushy and annoying about wanting to meet up and I was just about done. Luckily I had a good excuse that I was going to be in Tennessee and Virginia for a long week with family.

The funny part came over Christmas while I was in Virginia! Christmas night I'm sitting around and I get a text message from him...I still have it on my phone it's that good! Here's how it goes: (What I'm thinking is in parenthesis.)

CHRIS: Hey Laura. this is chris from plentyoffish. i got ur number at some pt. haha. merry xmas

(um...what the heck is plentyoffish, is he trying to be funny)

ME: Merry Christmas to you too.

Chris: Hey! this is okstate. did we ever meet haha

(What on earth is is talking about? okstate? I hate OSU)

ME: No...we haven't met yet.

CHRIS: OH right ur poff. i didnt recognize this number. ha ha. hope ur havin fun in tennessee. :)

(WHAT? I don't understand how to he doesn't realize who I am)

ME: Thanks, I'm actually in Virginia but I go back to Nashville tomorrow.

CHRIS: haha ok u were next to someone in my contact list. i was thinkin who the crap is this. anyway now i know. later :) merry xmas

(still completely confused as to what just happened)

ME: Okay bye....

So, Imagine my confusion. Like I really have NO clue what just happened, I have no clue what plentyoffish is and I just done. So the next day I'm back in Nashville and my cousin summer and I are laying in bed talking and I start reading her these texts and we're like what a loser, seriously. So then we're like what is Plentyoffish?! We still don't know! So I google it. It's DEFINITELY an online dating site!!!!! I lose it. I am laughing so ridiculously hard I can't breathe! He thought I had met him on this site! hahaha SO then, we're like well maybe okstate is his username...DING DING DING. We were all sorts of correct! We spent the next 30 mins laughing/crying because it was so funny! Needless to say I haven't talked to Plentyoffish since then! :)

You're Neat

Right now this could be the best of all...maybe it's because it's the most recent maybe it's because I was just so like "Who are you?" I had it on my regular blog back in January!

Monica set me up with this guy that she works with. From what she's said he seems nice and Katie met him and said he was nice so I thought I would give him a chance. He called me and went to get coffee and look at Christmas lights. It was an alright time except I noticed he kept saying the word NEAT alot. I'm a pretty confident person and so I thought maybe he was just nervous and so he didn't really know what else to say.

So, I give homeboy another chance. He wanted to go eat at Mama Roja on the lake. It was sweet....he listened when I said I like Mexican food.

Well he comes to get me and I'm just NOT wanting to. It's the National Championship football game, and I just knew I wasn't going to dig him and alot had happened within the week that I just didn't want to go. He comes to the door and while there's nothing wrong with this, it's just not me. He was dressed in pressed jeans, a button up tucked in polo shirt and really ugly shoes. Just too preppy for me. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kinda girl.

So we get in his car and it kinda smells like smoke which is turn off number 1.
We don't even make it out of the neighborhood and he's already used that dreaded word NEAT. I loathe that word now. By the time we made it to Mama Rojas he said it 4 times....it was going to be a long dinner.

At dinner he ORDERED MY FOOD FOR ME. Excuse neat boy but I'm pretty sure I can order my own enchiladas, thanks. Now, I realize that can be so sweet but in my book that was another independent line that was crossed. The whole dinner bored me to TEARS!!! I was just thinking can we hurry this along so I can watch the football game? The most interesting point in the night was when he told me he knew Natasha....she works at the pool hall he goes to. haha

So, he drives me home and is awkwardly like "Is is bad if I don't walk you to the door" (It was 10degrees outside) but I'm thinking please stay there I cannot be around you for one more second so I literately jump out of the car.

Now, I'm sure you're dying to know how many times he said the word NEAT?!?!? Any guesses. 10! I was with him for an hour and a half and he said it 10 times and even through in a Neato. What 28 year old man says Neato? I mean come on.

Needless to say I turned him down when he asked me to go to a Thunder game and haven't talked to him since. :)

That Didn't Last Long

My next one we'll change his name even though you probably don't know him!
Heather, my boss at FT referred to him as One-Armed Matty.

Now, Matty went to SNU, he was a few years older than me in school but a lot of years older than me in life. He was 30 and I had just recently turned 22. This was all 2 summers ago.

Matty and I had many classes together while at SNU and reconnected through facebook. It had been a long time since I'd talked to him and we always got along really well. So, we started texting, talking...however you'd like to call it. He had told me about this accident in which had caused him to lose function of his arm...so sad.

So, the first time I saw him he brought me food out to a sleepover at good ol' Chick Fila. That was sweet because he didn't really have to do that. So he's sitting in the tent with friends and it's fine good conversation, whatever.

So the next week he asks me to go watch a movie at the Warren Theater! I'm pretty pumped because I haven't been there. Well....there ends up being an OU football game. Now, I don't care who you are but I am not giving up a football to go on a date...not happening so I tell him and he's like oh that's fine, maybe we can do something after the game. Great! So I go to the game (it's a night game) but it's late when I get home so we decided to do something the next weekend and that he would call me! Okay...that's cool!

So the next weekend rolls around and and I haven't heard from him (and I'm not one to text boys) so I go out to the lake with some friends and were hanging out and things like that and I don't have my phone. Well I get back and he's texted and called me so I text him back and say "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't have my phone" and he sends me a message back saying, "You stood me up, Don't talk to me anymore."

Um...... Okay?! Needless to say I haven't seen or talked to Matty since then and I saw on facebook he had a kid and got married....best of luck to ya! :)

Because Sometimes we just need a good laugh

Well, here I am at 24 years old and never did I think that I would still be single, but I am. Not necessarily a bad thing but not always the best. But because I'm single I get to go on dates (usually not good) and experience lots of different things that you married people are lucky enough to not experience anymore. It has been brought up to me more than once that I needed to start blogging my dating stories because they are just too funny! So here at this blog I will keep track of those and hopefully use such good words that you can feel you were on each of these horrible dates with me! I'm even going back in time....that's where some of the best ones!

**Due to the fact some may know some of these people I will change names as needed.:)**

Today I'll start with one that is probably just one of my favorites!

At the start of my senior year Crystal was dating David. I hadn't dated anyone in a long time and she was just trying to help a sister out. David had a friend named Ryan coming in to town that weekend so Crystal thought it would be fun to go on a double date. No harm there, right?

So I planned it on the night that I was in charge of ice blocking, knowing that if it went out of control I had an easy out.

I was meeting them at Toby Keith's downtown. Well they come walking in and this guy I swear to you is not more than an inch taller than me. Now, that's saying a lot because I'm not very tall! Not only is he short he's like a square. He does body building so he's HUGE! (OH and he was a plumber.) So we sit down and we're eating dinner and this guy literately drinks 4-5 beers. I'm thinking my word dude...chill out, we haven't even been here an hour! So after dinner we go over to Marble Slab and I knew I had to be leaving soon...thank goodness. It wasn't a bad evening, just not all that enjoyable! So homeboy walks me to my car (that's nice) and asks for my number. Now I'm thinking I'll never see this guy so sure, you can have my number. I'm just too nice to say no. (I need to learn from mistakes.)
Anyways, he starts texting me ALL THE TIME. And I don't even really respond. It's more like "How's your day?" "Good." types of conversations. But then one day I get this RANDOM call from him and he's wanting me to delete his myspace. Why? Because he's still MARRIED!!!! His divorce wasn't finalized. Great. Crystal didn't know this piece of information prior to this date or else she wouldn't have put me through this hell! Then His insistent texting began to drive me crazy. I was thinking dude, do you honestly think I'm going to go out with you again leave me alone. Oh, that just made him mad. I received hateful messages and drunken phone calls accusing me of ridiculous stuff. Needless to say David took care of it and lost a friend(sorry about that), but it was for the best.
BUT stupid me....he won the world Duck Calling Championship last year and was featured on the front page of ESPN. How could I have been SO dumb do let that go? :)

This is the picture of him from ESPN. I thought you'd like to take a look at him. Too bad it's not the best picture!